In the pursuit of clarity, I became obsessed with clarity for clarities sake which I think could lead to apathy and back to cycles of negative existential nihilistic behaviour. I have started to use the clarity from the strategies I have implemented in my life… working out, eating right, a good amount of rest, a tidy environment, grooming well, being well read. I have started to use the clarity to make positive changes, still though desire can catch me but I’m getting better at telling myself no, I don’t think it’s addiction where this desire stems but rather the shared human need for love, though I find loving myself is waiting and not chasing, it’s choosing to be picky about who I spend time with and to double down on my own intuition rather than ignore it like I have in the past. But back to using clarity… I have started to really enjoy being in my studio, to be writing, drawing, printing, and painting, planning workshops to expand others knowledge and learn from other people who partake in my workshops. Interested in expanding perception, I am writing a publication, it will be odd, more like a wallet than a book stuffed with different bits of paper for the exploration of others. I think writing thinking others will see it makes you write better, but we shouldn’t hold back, we should be true to ourselves and take from what nihilists believe, that life is meaningless so just enjoy the process. We can choose to see meaninglessness as positive in the idea that it doesn’t matter what others think, do you. Be yourself, you can’t be anyone else and you can walk away whenever you want. Say fuck you. Tart. You get what I’m saying.

Anyway, I’ve come to enjoy a basic understanding of the biology of the human eye as a starting point to my book which isn’t really a book but what is a book? According to Wikipedia it’s a medium for recording information in the form of writing or images. And my laptop is telling me it has pages glued or sewn together on one side. Well, I guess mine will be that, just a little bit experimental. Inspired by the Fluxus movement. Anyways take care everyone, peace. Don’t forget what you wanted to work on and don’t get too caught up in worry, take a walk and let things go in and out. Inhale and exhale.